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She bangs

Car doors, cupboard, jars, drawers...

She bangs...Everything:
She is hurried (frenzied almost) in her actions, in her rush to do, to be, to live.

She's loud...
In her dress, in the way she expresses herself, in the way she speaks, in her singing (always at the top of her lungs), she is noisy, particularly in the company of her girlfriends.
Not afraid to be heard or noticed...

But softness and quiet is needed at times, when troubling thoughts persist and are left unattended.
Then she seeks solitude, silence, sanctuary!

Hiding out, pausing to reflect is never easy. It is difficult shutting out the world when we have all become addicted to connectedness, to attachment in this age of social media and information overload. The absence of noise can be a wonderful thing. Taking a vow of silence seems pretty attractive right now. But how do you silence your mind if it is forever ticking like a clock, if transcending and meditation is something that peaceful, zen people do? 

So I do what I always do?  I write.
But fingers wander unsure over unfriendly keys  (there is nothing scarier than a blank page)... 

It taunts me, the white, bright, emptiness. 
The hum of my machine pulls me in, focuses my attention squarely on the screen. I play around with the font pretending to create, type and erase words,sentences, musings that doesn't fit, erratic thoughts spilling forth from an erratic mind.

They say it helps quell disturbing thoughts.
Breathing deeply, I watch my chest rise and fall, exhale slowly like my masseuse taught me and wait for calm.
Again! Inhale...hold it....exhale!

Doh! Heart still racing, mind still manic, thoughts streaming through on fast forward.
Run hard and long like Forrest Gump.
I head to the place Richard Branson built (Virgin Active) to work my body and quieten my mind.
I'm a virgin in the art of relaxation.
I don't do still.
I grunt, grab my gym bag and head out, succumbing to Manic Monday!

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