Time is swift and unapologetic.
The duality of aging is that even though time leaves it signs distinctively on the flesh, the spirit within remains untouched by it's determined march. In fact, the spirit blossoms with time and experience.
The old adage "Youth is wasted on the young" rings particularly true for me at this point in my life. In my youth I was physically strong, but unfit and my body remained unchallenged. I was in the best health (no lower back pain to impede motion) yet tended to be more inactive, preferring to spend my youth in the clouds, dreaming of independence and freedom and love. My mind was sharp and clear but I lacked patience and understanding and I went through life with blinders on.
Now I am an open vessel, I want to take everything in, all perspectives, varied opinions, challenging ideas, inspiring new thoughts, willing action...Eager to be heard, not cowering, not afraid to be judged.
I will approach my 50's with reverence and grace and with a determined heart.
I am very aware of the fragility of life, it hangs like a sceptre over me (my mom and dad died in their 50's; cancer and angina coded in my DNA)
But I will play the hand I'm dealt, and I will do so with courage, armed with information and a plan of action well thought out and executed:
- For the physical body: a great exercise regime, and a healthy lifestyle.
- For the mind: creative thought and disciplines (writing, photography, poetry and self-expression), and learning, always new things.
- For the spirit: yoga, connection, meditation, travel and prayer.
I gave some thought to doing a bucket list. I had to think long and hard about what I would add to such a list to make my life complete. I struggled, started out with No.1: Climb Kilomanjaro and got stuck. Thought I should add all the places in the world I'd want to see, thought about what I'd like to accomplish...And remained stuck. Maybe the question for me is not What do I want to do? but more along the lines of What/Who do I want to be? That makes more sense for me:
- I want to be a great mom.
- I want to be a good wife, sister, friend.
- I want to be someone that cares about the world and others.
- I want to be a citizen of the world with a conscience.
- I want to be happy...
And above all, I want love and acceptance...for my fellow man, for this world we live in and for myself.