1000's miles, smiles, laughter and tears.
What a ride...
Star date: 22 January 2014
I stand alone in the bedroom thick with the lingering scent of love and passion spent.
I stand newly showered, but barely awake; the full length mirror offering me a hazy view and I am struck by an open, unapologetic gaze:
Pale eyes partnered with bright red lips to draw my eyes down, away from the windows to my soul.
tell me lies
hide the pain
mask the truth
hide the fear
not cracked nor broken
Bad luck still
when hearts are broken...
Truth, brutal and unbending revealed to me in a glimpse, seeking me out where I'm standing in high heels in my birthday suit .
Soft lights deliberately dimmed, barely there to conceal in shadows: back arched, shoulders square, hips curved.
I take me in.
Curious eyes are looking over shoulders that have borne burdens too many to mention.
Borne nonetheless with an incomprehensible ease.
Mirrors don't scare me anymore.
Eyes meet kind reflection and my gaze holds firm.
So this is what 52 looks like?
This is what it feels like?
Time to suit up, paint face:
The mascara brush hovers over now sparkly eyes.
I hold my gaze, see Me.
I keep looking.
Discard the blackness.
No masks for me today.
I stretch like a cat.
My body longs for a treat: "Happy Birthday, beautiful!"
I've earned my scars and stripes (faded but ever present) on eyes, hips, heart...
I'm rooted here as I came into this world.
I roar loudly:
I am woman!
I move forward with grace; determination steeled, courage unwavering and resolve hardened by time.
60 looms ever larger.
"Bring it!" I say out loud to Kharma, relying on her to set records straight.
My slate is blank; cleared of smudgy characters and misdeeds paid for in blood and sweat, my stories told in a voice of truth.
"Come at me hard, I am no longer afraid."
My fists are clenched, knuckles showing white, lips tight and pursed.
Fear has been tamed and my fighting spirit restored.
Women on foreign soil took care of me today, women I hardly know, and I smiled at them in gratitude.
I thank God for women: this sisterhood, this sainthood, this motherhood, this band of woman of which I am a part.