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49

4+ Decades
1000's miles, smiles, laughter and tears.
Life's journey!
What a ride...
Star date: 22 January 2014
Personal Log!
I stood alone in the hotel room thick with the lingering scent of love and passion spent; newly showered, barely awake, the full length mirror offered me a hazy view and I was struck by an open, unapologetic gaze:
Paled eyes nonetheless ... partnered with bright red lips to draw eyes down, away from the windows to my soul.
Phew!
Saved.
Safe.





Mirror, mirror...



tell me lies
hide the pain
behind goodbyes

mirror mirror
be unclear
mask the truth
hide the fear

mirror mirror
not cracked nor broken
Bad luck still
when hearts are broken...

Truth, brutal and unbending, revealed in a glimpse, seeking me out where I stood in high heels in my birthday suit . Soft lights deliberately dimmed, barely there to conceal in shadows: back arched, shoulders square, hips curved.
I take me in.
Curious eyes are looking over shoulders that have borne burdens too many to mention, but with an incomprehensible ease.
Mirrors don't scare me anymore.
Eyes meet kind reflection and my gaze holds firm.
So this is what 49 looks like?
This is what it feels like?

Hell yeah!

Time to suit up, paint face: the mascara brush hovering over now sparkly eyes. I hold my gaze, see Me, I keep looking, discarding the blackness.
No masks for me today.

I stretch like a cat.
My body longs for a treat: 4 hours of pampering lie ahead: "Happy Birthday, beautiful!"
I've earned my scars and stripes (faded but ever present) on eyes, hips, heart...

I'm rooted here as I came into this world.
I roar loudly: I am woman! Never quiet!
But with grace; determination steeled, courage unwavering and resolve hardened by time.

50 looms ever larger.
"Bring it!" I say out loud to Kharma, relying on her to set records straight.
My slate blank; cleared of smudgy characters and misdeeds paid for in blood and sweat, my stories told in a voice of truth.
"Come at me hard, I am no longer afraid." My fists are clenched, knuckles showing white, lips tight and pursed.
Fear has been tamed and my fighting spirit restored.

4 Women took care of me today, 4 women I hardly know, and I cooed like a baby. They took care of me till I fell asleep, drifting off with a clear heart and a blank mind.

I thank God for women: this sisterhood, this sainthood, this motherhood, this band of woman of which I am a part.

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