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Showing posts from 2012


The beauty of things imperfect.

This resonates with me, especially with beach season approaching.
Truth be told,  Summer is going to be challenging.

It's the season to uncover, expose; it's time to have bodies kissed by sun, salted by the sea & covered by sand; white & coarse.

The young & the brave are carefree on beaches, playing volley ball: jumping, diving, spiking with no wobbly bits bobbing randomly about. Swimming in wild oceans with string bikini's clinging precariously to tiny bottoms. Throwing frisbees furiously about, endlessly energized, dodging festive beach umbrella's, deck chairs and sun-worshippers, beached like whales.

I hide.
I hide under wide brimmed sun hats and huge sunglasses.
I hide behind one-piece bathers and tropical sarongs.
I hide away under umbrella's big as houses.
I hide behind being the mom.
It is easier fading into the background now.

I look at myself in the mirror and see the lines etched on golden skin.        
Lines …

beach bum

Heard these random words in a conversation today.

I wasn't particularly eavesdropping, but these two words, uttered with great excitement by the young lady in cut-off denim shorts with frayed edges and white pockets showing, was loud enough for me to hear. It was quite obvious that the prospect of a summer spent lazing on the beach, filled her with glee.
We are kindred spirits, this young stranger and I; we are lovers of  the ocean, a generation removed.
"beach bum..." her voice broke into a light lilting air on saying these words & it became a melodious outcry, a yearning for the ocean, for the lazy days of summer.

 The Fresh Prince said it best!
"Summer, summer, summertime 
Time to sit back and unwind ..."


I made my way out of the store and into the crowded mall; a lingering sense of dread persisting. The bags weighing heavily on my arms; my high heels impeding my motion. I wanted the comf…

things that make me go mmmmm

The Parker Pleasure Principle 101
Hedonism and the pursuit of pleasure occupies my  thoughts on a peaceful Sunday morning.  The day has a dreamy quality to it,  and my mood is mellow: "It was hot, yet with a sweet languor about it" Theodore Dreiser.

According to is

1. Pursuit of or devotion to pleasure, especially to the pleasures of the senses. 2. Philosophy The ethical doctrine holding that only what is pleasant or has pleasant consequences is intrinsically good. 3. Psychology The doctrine holding that behavior is motivated by the desire for pleasure and the avoidance of pain.

No 2 and 3 aside, I'm zeroing in on: pleasure of the senses,touch, taste, see, smell ...mmmmm and devotion to pleasure, oh! ah!

It's the simple things; the unexpected, rather than the planned; the spur of the moment, spontaneous episodes that give the greatest pleasure.

Things like:
long, aimless drives on rainy dayssitting in the car at the beach readi…

Bra's, Boobs & Babes

Ah, Boobs!

The part of a woman's body that gets more attention than the average motorist at a SA traffic light. Attention that is thoroughly enjoyed during moments of intimacy, but unwanted  in the middle of a conversation or in the normal course of a day. "I'm up here!" will flitter through your mind when your cleavage appears to be getting more eye contact than your eyes (I know there are two of them, still)

As woman we have a complicated relationship with our breasts, we either love them, or loathe them; want them bigger, or smaller; rounder & perkier. Or more like someone else's, a best friend, a neighbour, Salma Hayek.

During puberty we face concerns with regards to the age at which our breasts start developing, we draw comparisons and feelings of insecurity often sets in. The term "late bloomer" has been offered as an explanation by many mom's to awkward teens worried about their development.

Our lifelong love-hate relationship with the br…

behind the wheel

Give me nightfall, pelting rain and all I wanna do is get behind the wheel of my car.

Alone, just me and her, the red devil, both old, but feisty and still purring.

Much like me, she is almost past her sell by date, should've been traded in for a newer model a long time ago. But I'm stubbornly keeping her, for better or worse. We will be growing old together, both slightly worn, with a good few miles behind us, but dependable, strong.

I stroke her dash lovingly, coo kindly, "Don't give up just yet, just a few more miles! I know you can do it!"

And she responds in kind, gives me that extra vroom...and zoom zoom we are away again.

I remember when I first saw her, all shiny and new: blood red, 3 door Freelander with the big wheel at the back, full of attitude, daring me to go exploring, awakening my wanderlust with her engine that growled. She was all prettied up with a huge red satin bow (so unlike her) I could tell she couldn't wait to get me behind her wheel…

I sing

Singing is like taking a very deep breath. It fills me with life and joie de vivre.

I sing, not in the shower, or the privacy of my home, but as part of the normal course of the day.
I sing at my best with Ipod on, earphones in and volume turned to uberloud.
I sing in the car with the radio set to blow- me- away, leaving the windows rattling.
I sing at the gym, sometimes silently (most times, not) mouthing the words, bobbing my head to the beat.

I sing...constantly have a tune playing in my head.

Knowing the lyrics to a song is optional, I will do a bit of a remix if necessary, to get through to the end.
Knowing the language of the song, also optional.. I will make appropriate sounds, add mumbles, hums, ooohhh'sla,la,la's, da,da,da,da,da's.
Whatever it takes to keep the rhythm going...

Once upon a train journey from London to Edinburgh, I got so swept up in the music, I sang at the top of my lungs to Nelly Furtado. An elbow bump from my fellow traveler caught me mid-son…


i struggle to come to terms with death and loss
and in this struggle i have no time for formalities

its the last thing I want to think about

maybe trying to make sense of it is futile especially when the wound is fresh
if the pain is up close and personal
could she have imagine this in the excitement of embarking on their holiday to thailand just last december      that he wouldnt be around this year
does she regret leaving the wanderlust dormant for so long
would this loss of her better half leave her shattered broken half  living...

the phone is shrill when it rings with bad news
it always comes in the early morning hours in the quiet of a still sleeping world
the phone rings and your waking mind knows this cannot be good  someones life has changed

and in that moment you look to your own life

I share the news! Misery loves company.

I look to him and the thought pops into my head , uninvited, unwelcomed:

Awake now! Robbed of the peace that comes with sleep:

It n…

Bump in the night


The dark room feels heavy on my skin, silence hangs thick. Only the sound of my breathing, shallow now,  can be heard. I feel him moving closer, softly across the carpeted room. The bed creaks, welcoming his weight, desiring it. Outside lightning shoots across the night skies, electricity courses through my veins... His body feels warm.

I am sprawled in front of him like a landing strip, all lit up and long. His touch, his breath, meandering along my secret places.

I know where this is going, I arch my back, greedy now...

He says my name, rolling it around on his tongue like chocolate, it falls off his lips barely audible. I am loved. And in the sanctity of this relationship, this is a beautiful thing.

Never one for public displays of affection, for wearing my heart on my sleeve, for shouting my love from the rooftops, I do this now from the top of the world(wide web).

For a million great reasons
- for the way you say my name like no other
- for the way you take care of ou…

Use & Care: A Relationship Manual

Wouldn't it be easier if a relationship came with a Use & Care Manual? It would make things so much simpler.

All great designs & products come with instruction manuals to ensure you get optimum performance, maximum value and the best satisfaction for your investment.You can also expect a lengthy warranty, subject to conditions, of course. And in the event of anything going wrong, there is a returns policy that rewards the proper use & care of your valuable asset.

So why is it  that the most precious investment we can make, the biggest risk we take, entering into a relationship, gets very little thought. Relationships require time, commitment, passion and dedication, yet we approach it in an almost nonchalant way, then struggle to understand why it didn't work out.

A mutual understanding built on love and commitment is a good place to start. It acts as a guide, a road map for the years ahead, it helps to resolve conflict easier and clarifies the obligations of each par…


My genetic code has never been replicated, there are no mini-me's running around, there never will be.
My monthly period was one great big farce, a mockery, a ridiculous sham: it was regular like clockwork, had all the elements of being "normal", but it never lived up to it's promise of creating life, leaving a legacy for me on my life's journey.
Infertility is a bitch! It is completely random in it's destructiveness, has the attitude of "Nothing Personal!", but bitch, it is very personal: If you're a woman and you can't have kids, that goes to the core of personal.
Yikes, I thought I had made my peace with all this. Apparently not, my period (see link for other slang terms for this,+menstrual+period+(related+to).html) has once again become the bane of my existence.
At 46 she is messing me around again.
I have run the gambit of emotions with her: confusion, anger, betrayal,…

A wise woman once said

Be careful of guys who make frequent use of ellipsis....

How can a form of punctuation be so maddening?All it is is a series of dots that usually indicate an intentional omission of a word, sentence or whole section from the original text being quoted.

But it is genius that this series of dots, so unassuming by its very nature, can be wielded with much finesse by a cad. The danger is when it is used to indicate an unfinished thought or a trailing off into silence(Oh, the possibilities!)When placed at the beginning or end of a sentence, the ellipsis can also inspire a feeling of melancholy or longing(sigh!)

And to someone with an overactive imagination and high sense of drama, this opens up a world of trouble. 

Personally I have a love/hate relationship with ellipsis, it can be wielded to good effect, because it can be so emotionally loaded by it's very use.

But in the hands of a commitment-phobe, it is a license to weave in and out of other people's lives.

This is where th…


If you were to look inside your cupboard right now, 10-to-1, you'll find a hoodie in there somewhere, no matter what your age.

And the best hoodie of all? That is definitely the one you claimed from someone else. This is particularly true  for me. At 46 I own an impressive amount of  hoodies, each and every one "borrowed" from someone close to me. The hoodie in itself represents the close bond I share with it's the original owner.It offers me warmth, it cocoons me and offers me protection on my bad hair days, or when I'm undercover (don't ask!)

The accessible hood offers instant anonymity and immediately creates a sense of mystery and "danger" to the wearer. It is this instant anonymity that is particularly appealing to teenagers and others who are, lets say, up to mischief.

The hoodie has an interesting history. 
According to Wikipedia this unassuming, popular item of clothing has been adopted by a va…


Cupid has finally gotten off his backside & is doing his job, he has been slacking off for too long lately. I know he is very chubby & that arrow cannot be easy to lug around, but still, if you have a job to do, you should just get on with it.

Things are definitely starting to look up, Spring is in the air & love is not far behind.

I see it all around me...

Damn, now that song by Wet Wet Wet is stuck in my head, you know the one:

Sing it with me if you feel the  Love...

You know I love you, I always will, 
My mind's made up by the 
Way that I feel 
There's no beginning, 
There'll be no end 
'cause on my love you can depend 

Got to keep it moving 

Oh It's written in the wind ...

I am (unashamedly) a fool for love: I love cheesy sentiment & believe in "Happily ever after".

I do believe a toast is in order:
Here's to LOVE... the good kind, that leaves you breathless & wanting more.
Here's to LOVERS who have the courage to take the leap &…


With slight trepidation & a great big,"Why, Nariman? Blogging, really? Do you not have enough to do?" screaming in my head, I DO THIS! Slowly at first, with hesitation, my fingers seeking the keys, not quite sure if this feels right...

Yet compelled, to write & be heard; to connect & to grow, & if all else fails, to know, that even with 50 looming large, I will step forward, I will seek new challenges & along the way, I will laugh at myself & never go quietly about my life.